The Truth About Motherhood


I have to get something off my chest, because I'm starting to feel like a fraud.  Perhaps it's because I was blessed with twins that I hear this so often - when we're out at the supermarket, at family functions, doctors appointments, anywhere people know the story of my life.  I'm talking about the "You must be exhausted!" comments.  Or "You certainly have your hands full!"  And of course I smile and laugh and validate what they're saying as truth, just to keep myself from appearing too lucky.



I constantly read articles, hear people discussing on TV about what HARD WORK it is to be a mother.  About how being a stay at home mom is the hardest job of all because "we don't get paid", "we work 24/7", "we can't take days off".... and I'll nod my head and agree for the sake of not devaluing anybody else as a human.  I'm already bracing myself for the hate mail here, but I'm tired of acting like it's HARD to be a mother.  I realize that for some people, it might be hard, and I'm not calling you a liar by any means.  But as somebody who is currently in the thick of it herself with two toddlers and trying to get an extremely young baby business of the ground, I can say with the upmost certainty that this is the LEAST "hard" thing I have ever had to do.

Do you know what's hard?  Waking your baby up from a deep sound sleep, seeing them disgruntled and upset about it, and continuing to force them out into the cold in the dark of early morning while listening to the them cry about it because you have a demanding job that requires you to completely tune out of your role as mother on the daily and you have to drop them off at daycare on the way.

Do you know what else is hard?  Watching somebody ELSE take your child to the zoo for the first time, seeing their first roll over, their first steps, getting them into a schedule and then having no idea what said schedule is once you get them home yourself and feeling out of sync with your own offspring.

Do you know what's even harder?  Getting dressed up on a Friday night, navigating Ubers and multiple group texts and potential suitors all because you're supposed to be out here enjoying your life when really you just want to be curled up on a couch somewhere with a family that you don't have yet.  Putting on a smile and striking up relationships with various men because you're trying to show the universe that you're taking action (and action is eventually rewarded?) all the while just crossing your fingers for one of them to pounce.  That's really freaking hard.

So I don't mean to offend anybody, and I totally get that everyone's struggles are different.  But I can't sit back here behind this computer any more and act like raising these humans is hard work.  It's work, yes.  It requires attention and effort, yes.  But being a mother is hands down the EASIEST thing I have ever committed myself to.  Sure there are moments that require some deep breathing exercises and some that twist my heart into knots, but it's a job that warms me through and through.  Every single day you are rewarded with smiles and hugs and kisses and laughter.  You get to serve people who are genuinely 100% the MOST important people in your life.  Yes, you work 24/7 and you don't get days off, but that's why it's not just a job... it's your LIFE!  And newsflash - nobody gets a day off from that!

If you're sitting there kind of wanting to punch me in the face right now about to leave me a hate filled message about how I'm being a slap in the face to all the SAHMs out there, I challenge you to take a second to reevaluate WHY it's so hard.  Is it really your children that are hard?  Or is it because your daily activities are not aligning with your personal values and vision for your life?

I too have done a lot of hard things. I still battle things in my life that are hard every single day.  But staying with my kids all day and caring for them is just simply NOT one of them and I don't really think that will ever change. Not gospel, just my opinion.  Now I'm off to laboriously snuggle my daughters and prepare their scrambled eggs and toast.

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